🙄 Coaching Teens Without the Eye Rolls
Headline: Teen Brains & Parent Pains: Finding the Regulation Sweet Spot in Coaching
Coaches, we’ve all been there: the well-intentioned parent eager to support their teen’s development, and the teen who recoils at the mere suggestion. How do we navigate this delicate dance, especially when regulation is the focus? This month, let’s dive into the unique challenges of coaching adolescents and explore the parent paradox.
The Teenage Brain: A Renegade in Transition
First, let’s acknowledge the biological elephant in the room. Adolescence is a period of intense brain development. The prefrontal cortex, responsible for decision-making, impulse control, and emotional regulation, is still under construction. Meanwhile, the limbic system, the emotional center, is firing on all cylinders. This neurological cocktail fuels the teen’s drive for independence and their tendency towards emotional volatility.
This biological imperative for autonomy means that teens often perceive parental involvement as an intrusion. Even well-meaning suggestions can trigger defensiveness and resistance. When it comes to coaching, this can manifest as:
Shutting Down: Teens may become withdrawn, unresponsive, or refuse to engage.
Argumentative Behavior: Every suggestion becomes a battleground, hindering progress.
Emotional Dysregulation: The teen's emotional state can escalate, leading to outbursts or withdrawal.
The Parent Paradox: When Support Becomes Sabotage
The paradox lies in this: parents want to help, but their presence can inadvertently hinder their teen’s progress. In the context of regulation, this can be particularly problematic. Teens need to develop their own internal strategies for managing their emotions, and constant parental intervention can impede this process.
Finding the Balance: Coaching Strategies
So, what’s a coach to do? Here are some strategies for navigating the parent paradox:
Establish Clear Boundaries: Define the coach’s role and the parent’s role from the outset. Emphasize the importance of the teen’s autonomy.
Foster Open Communication: Create a safe space for teens to express their concerns and preferences.
Educate Parents: Help parents understand the biological changes their teen is undergoing and the importance of fostering independence.
Facilitate Indirect Support: Encourage parents to support their teen’s goals without directly intervening in the coaching process.
Focus on Skill-Building: Equip teens with practical strategies for self-regulation, such as mindfulness, deep breathing, and emotional awareness.
Confidentiality: Let the teen know that what they say to the coach, stays with the coach, unless there is a safety issue.
Individual Meetings: Set up one on one meetings with the teen, and then a seperate meeting with the parents. This keeps the teen from feeling like their parents are always involved.
Regulation as a Solo Journey (With Guidance)
Ultimately, successful coaching during adolescence involves empowering teens to take ownership of their regulation skills. While parental support is valuable, it must be delivered in a way that respects the teen’s need for independence.
By understanding the biology of adolescence and implementing thoughtful coaching strategies, we can help teens navigate this challenging period and develop the essential self-regulation skills they need to thrive.
You can access the tool in my Self-Regulation Module now for only $197.00
💻 ​Link to Course​
